Ep. 82 - It Can be Done: A Beautiful Life After Gambling
“If you show up every single day and put in the hard work, recovery can be a beautiful thing.”
In this episode of Fold em, Laura tells us, “I had a huge gambling problem and just about lost everything - my home and my family.” When it came out into the open, it was “24/7 stress” as Laura faced the impacts of gambling. When her doctor noticed she wasn’t doing well, Laura says “I blurted out - I think I have a gambling problem.” An online search for help led to British Columbia’s Gambling Support Line, which connected her to counselling and, eventually, to online Gamblers Anonymous rooms. She found kindness and compassion all along the way.
When we recorded our conversation, Laura was 407 days away from her last bet. She shares her story because she wants people to know “it can be done.” It is possible to break away from compulsive gambling and to put things in place to prevent a relapse. And, it is possible to move away from stress and a life that feels more like surviving than living. Laura keeps her focus on recovery every single day, which isn’t always easy to do. However, to her surprise this has helped her to feel healthier - physically and mentally - and appreciate the beauty of each day without gambling.
Listen to episode 82 and hear about:
Why it can be hard to admit to yourself that your gambling is out of control
Laura’s story of getting help, facing hard stuff, and getting through it
How Laura stopped gambling and has stayed away for more than a year
LISTEN to EPISODE 82
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Do I Have a Gambling Problem?
In this episode of Fold em, Laura says that now as she looks back, she sees clear signs that she had a gambling problem. These included:
Looking forward to pay day because it meant she had money to gamble again
Constantly thinking about gambling and planning how to secretly gamble
Ups and downs in mood - feeling great after a win and then down and stressed after a loss
Gambling until all her money was lost and then waiting until the next pay day when she could gamble again
Even when in a pretty dark place because of gambling, Laura says she didn’t think of herself as having a gambling problem. It was only when she spoke to her doctor and they began searching for help that this became clear to her.
Many others have also said the same - that even though gambling was clearly creating problems for them, they didn’t think of themselves as having a gambling problem. Here’s some of the tricky ways gambling messes with your thinking and gets in the way of getting help.
Minimizing: “My gambling isn’t as bad as other people. It’s not so bad that I need to call the Helpline.”
Comparing: “I’m not like someone with a gambling addiction.”
Denying: “Everyone at work and all my friends think I’m a doing great. So, I can’t have a gambling problem.”
Negotiating: “I just need to win back this much, then I’ll stop.”
Laura tell us that it was really difficult to accept she had a gambling problem. However, it helped to be treated with such kindness when she called the Gambling Helpline, spoke to a counsellor and attended her first Gamblers Anonymous meeting. She offers this message to those of you who are stressed because of gambling. “You may feel alone and that you’re the only one out there going through this. But, you’re not. There is a world full of people who have a gambling problem … and there are resources out there to help you.”
It Can Be Done
Laura has been gambling free for more than a year. She says it hasn’t been easy and has taken work. Her approach has been to make recovery a focus every day. For her, recovery means “bettering myself.”
These are the ingredients in Laura’s recipe for recovery:
Getting Help for Myself: Counselling, online Gamblers Anonymous meetings and connecting with a sponsor
Being Open and Honest: Laura encourages family and friends to check-in with her and shares more about her feelings.
Being Transparent About Finances: Laura gave her husband and adult children access to her accounts and asks them to approach her with any questions or concerns.
Putting up Roadblocks to Gambling: Laura self-excluded from the casino and installed a blocking app on her devices. If there was risk of a relapse, these would slow her down and give her time to get help.
Looking at Underlying Issues: When she started counselling, Laura knew she had to do things differently. She was willing to look at patterns in her life of “wanting to run away from things” and to learn more about the brain and gambling addiciton.
Accountability: Laura has asked her family, sponsor and family doctor to speak up when they have concerns about her. When this happens, she is grateful for them checking in. It helps her to reflect on how she’s doing and not keep concerns to herself.
Daily Practices: Laura regularly meditates, journals, and strives to eat well, exercise and feel grateful for another day without gambling.
For Laura, these have been the ingredients that have helped her to stay bet free and to feel better physically and mentally. They have also, surprisingly, led to what she feels is a “beautiful life.”
To hear more from Laura about her recovery, rebuilding trust with her family, and building in online supports, listen to episode 82 of Fold em. Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red Listen Now to Fold em button at the bottom.
Related Fold em Episodes
If you found it helpful to hear Laura’s story, there are other inspiring conversations about pulling away from gambling and rebuilding your life. Listen now to episodes 16 and 17 as well as episode 19 of Fold em by clicking on the play buttons below.
What Support is Available to Help With Gambling Concerns?
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website or listen to other episodes of Fold em.
Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
We welcome your feedback and ideas for topics for upcoming episodes. Reach out through the Contact Us page on this website or through email at Foldempodcast@gmail.com.
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