Ep. 50 - Can Gambling Problems Have a Silver Lining?
There is no question that gambling problems are stressful and difficult. For some, that’s a mild way to put it. So, it can be irritating to hear people say things like, “Hang in there. It will get better.” Or, “You’ll end up being grateful for having a gambling problem.” How can gambling problems not only get better, but be a good thing?
In episode 50 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, we hear a conversation with Julie who just marked three years without gambling. She tells us, “If I didn’t have this addiction, I wouldn’t be experiencing such expansion in my life.”
Julie is joined by her counsellor, Allison Rice. They talk about all the ways that life has changed for the better for Julie and what has contributed to this, as well as to keeping gambling out of her life.
Tune in to episode 50 and hear about:
five key ingredients for building your best life life as you pull away from gambling problems
what can happen when you’re open to working on more than just “fixing the gambling problem.”
what can happen when you stick with counselling, groups and getting support for yourself - even when you don’t feel like it anymore
Listen now to episode 50 of Fold em by clicking on the green play button at the top of the blog.
If you prefer to tune in directly from Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts, click on the red “Listen and Subscribe” button below.
“Come come whoever you are!
Wonderer, worshiper, lover of leaving.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve broken your
vows a thousand times, still come.
And yet again, come.”
-Rumi
Can There Be a Silver Lining to Gambling Problems?
In this episode of Fold em, Julie tells us that when she stopped gambling three years ago, it wasn’t her first “kick at the can.” She had stopped before and gone to counselling. But, gambling crept back into her life and she once again ended up in that place of feeling alone, stressed out, and weighed down with money problems. Three years ago, she again reached out for help and started counselling, but this time she approached things differently.
Julie tells us that her experience with recovery this time has been a wonderful experience that has brought many unexpected and positive changes to her life including:
more open and honest communication with people in her life
more self awareness and comfort with handling challenges and hard feelings
more connections with people - especialy others in recovery
more balance in her life and a commitment to taking care of herself
Julie is joined in this episode by her counsellor over the past three years, Allison Rice. Together, they share what helps prevent getting pulled back into gambling problems AND how to grow the silver lining in the experience - how to have stopping gambling turn into a growing a better you and richer life.
Five Ingredients for Growing a Better Life as You Address Gambling Issues
Julie and Allison share a recipe for making this not just about stopping or decreasing gambling. But, to feel confident that you can prevent a relapse in the future and feel good about yourself again. Julie has been adding these ingredients to her life for three years. It helps to think about this as a longer-process rather than a quick fix.
Here’s some key ingredients for preventing a gambling relapse and growing your best life:
Having a Desire to Change and Grow a Better Life for Yourself
Even if you’re feeling overwhelmed, struggling to have hope, and have no idea what to do to feel better, find the flicker of flame inside of you that wants to see something better for yourself
It’s normal that the desire to change, may decrease and even disappear at times. When this happens, keep at it - especially connecting with those people who you have asked to help. They can help spark up that flame again.
Seeking Out Help and Finding Good Connections
With gambling problems, if you continue to do things on your own and/or your way, it will likely lead to more of the same.
Gambling problems are different from other problems in life. Learn from others who have gone ahead of you and know something about how to address gambling issues
When looking for support, go with your gut about whether you feel confident, comfortable and safe. A good connection is an important predictor of whether it will be helpful
Watch out for the voice in your head that makes excuses and reasons to not go back, even when you had a good connection. When you find a good connection, keep showing up - even when you don’t feel like it.
Having Trust and Faith in the People You Have Asked to Help
When you have found people you feel comfortable with, have trust and faith in them and the process. It’s normal that you will not believe in the beginning that things will get better. Lean on their experience and belief when you can’t.
Being Willing to Take Suggestions and Guidance
It’s normal to feel reluctant to do things differently. Be open to the guidance of people who know something about gambling issues and willing to give their suggestions a try.
Sticking With it Even When You Don’t Want To
It’s predictable that your motivation to keep going with recovery will decrease. The chitter chatter in your head will try and convince you to stop going to meetings or counselling. Or, maybe that you can giving gambling a try again. Despite this, keep at it
Feeling better and living a better life will keep growing, in ways you didn’t expect, particularly if you stay connected to people who are working on the same thing. You can learn new things about yourself, grow skills, regain your integrity and when you do, the way you interact in your relationships and life can also blossom.
Want to Learn More?
If you would like to hear more from Allison and Julie about growing your best life as you move away from gambling problems, listen to episode 50 of Fold em.
Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red “Listen and Subscribe to Fold em” button below.
Check out other episodes of Fold em and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out when new ones are released.
Want to Connect With Support and Counselling in British Columbia?
If you live in British Columbia and would like to learn more about free, confidential support and counselling services from Gambling Support BC, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. You can also access our services through the Gambling Support Line. It is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to any British Columbia resident experiencing problems from gambling. You don’t need to stop or quit gambling or be self-excluded to access these free supports.
Our counselling and outreach services can help you figure out how to manage gambling concerns, including how to control or stop gambling. You decide what will work for you.
You can talk to an outreach support person about next steps for yourself if you aren’t wanting counselling. They can help you find self-help resources or local community resources and make a plan that meets you where you are at.
Want to Connect With Support and Counselling in the Rest of Canada and the United States?
For a list of gambling help services in Canada, visit www.gamblingguidelines.ca/getting-help
To find gambling help resources in the United States, visit the National Council on Problem Gambling
Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors. Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.
*Zorland J, Mooss A, Perkins A. Gambling and offending: An examination of the literature. Georgia State University Gambling Project 2008.
**Kryszatjys D, and Matheson F. Problem Gambling and Crime and its Costs, Gambling Research Exchange of Ontario, 2017.