Ep. 58 - Delusions of Control: John Woods Talks About Gambling Addiction
John Woods knows a lot about gambling problems. He got hooked at an early age when he discovered slots (fruit machines in the UK) and then continued to play it all obsessively - slots, horse racing, poker and sports betting. He also knows about the rock bottoms that gambling can take you and your life. He went through the upheaval of telling first his parents then later on his wife that his gambling was out of control.
John also has experience with stopping gambling - first for a year, then later for 18-months - and getting treatment and support. He tried Hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming and attended Gamblers Anonymous. As with many others, John experienced relapse.
However, after thirty years of gambling, John Woods placed his last bet about six years ago. To help him stay away, he devoted himself to learning about gambling addiction and decided to share what he learned, along with his story, in his book, Gambling Addiction Explained: How to Stop Gambling and Regain Control of Your Life.
In episode 58 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, John shares what he has come to know about gambling problems. He also shares hope. He tells us that if he can stop gambling, so can others.
Listen now to our conversation and hear:
John share openly about his gambling addiction and the impact it had on him, his life and family
How to prevent getting pulled back in
How the mind deludes you into thinking you’re in control with gambling (when you clearly are not)
What helped John to eventually break free of gambling problems and his suggestions for others wanting to do the same
Listen now to episode 58 of Fold em by clicking on the green play button at the top of the blog.
If you prefer to tune in directly from Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts, click on the red “Listen and Subscribe” button below.
With gambling problems your mind deludes you into thinking you have control … even when you don’t
I Had Stepped Away From Gambling and Now It’s Out of Control Again. What Happened?
In this episode of Fold em, John Woods tells us that for him, as for many others with gambling problems, it’s not easy to stay away. At the age of nineteen, after nearly failing school and losing a much sought after apprenticeship, telling his parents about his debt and gambling problem, and attending Gamblers Anonymous for a year, gambling started again and slowly ramped up.
Later he was able to stop for 18-months after working with a therapist who used Hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming and the Emotional Freedom Technique with him. But, after visiting a racetrack for his stag, betting on horses opened the door to online poker and then the return to slots.
When gambling gets out of control once, it can get out of control again. And when this happens, it can be even more difficult to stop because part of you doesn’t want to acknowlege it to yourself nor do you want to tell people who believe the issue has been “fixed.”
Gambling Problems and Delusions of Control
In his book, Gambling Addiction Explained, John Woods shares that while he was gambling, his own mind deluded him into believing that he was in control. He share examples to illustrate.
Common ways that delusions of control show up with gambling problems:
Next time I’ll Play Smarter and Not Make the Same Mistake: John says that after a gambling loss he would tell himself that next time he will “be more disciplined,” “play his “A” game,” and “keep to his limits”. And then, he would win. The delusion, he says, is ignoring all the evidence that when gambling is out of control, he wasn’t able to keep it controlled.
Rationalizing the Need to Gamble: As he started to gamble again, John says that he would justify and rationalize gambling by blaming a problem in his life, e.g. there’s this unexpected expense I have to cover, so I need to make this bet. The thinking is that “I’m in control as a gambler, but my life isn’t and that’s why I’m gambling”.
Ignoring When You Go Outside Your Limits: When gambling, John would tell himself that he’s only playing slots once or twice a week, but then not be fully honest with himself about how much he was spending. Or, he would focus on that fact that over the past year, he had made money betting on horses, but fail to account for the many hours spent on this.
Presenting to the Rest of the World That You’re In Control: John says that at one point he had a website offering advice to others about betting on horse races. To those who knew him, it looked like he had a system for keeping gambling in check. However, they weren’t aware of his struggles with online gambling, slots and sports betting. He says that it was hard to acknowledge this to himself.
How to Stop Gambling - And Stay Away!
John tells us that after hitting another rock bottom because of gambling, he reached a point of exhaustion. He realized that he didn’t want to keep gambling and acknowledged to himself that he didn’t have control.
John opened up to a friend who insisted that he be honest with his wife. After initially saying that he couldn’t, John eventually told his wife everything. He was devastated to see the shock and hurt in her eyes. She insisted that he get help, particularly with returning to the local GA meeting. The next day as he started to have thoughts that he didn’t need GA, that he could handle it on his own, she continued to insist that he go.
John went to GA and was open with the group about his relapse. He says, “It all came out and was a huge weight off my shoulders.” It felt so good to be accepted and understood. He also met people there who had stopped gambling and saw that it was possible to stop and stay stopped.
John continues to attend GA weekly and his last bet was six years ago. In the meantime, he also spent a lot of time learning about gambling addiction and wrote about what he learned in his book, Gambling Addiction Explained.
Here’s John’s suggestions for pulling back from gambling problems:
Be Honest With Yourself and Accept That You Have a Gambling Problem
Have an Honest Conversation With Someone Who Will Support You
Develop a Plan to Address Your Gambling Problem and Get Going with It
Seek Help - Particularly From People Who Know About Gambling Addiction
Put Up Road Blocks Between You and Gambling, e.g. blocking software, limiting access to money
Learn More About Gambling Addiction So You Can Build Up Your Defenses
Commit to Working On Yourself, e.g. feeling better physically and emotionally, practising being honest.
How to Find John Woods’ Book - Gambling Addiction Explained
John’s book is available as an audio book, ebook and in paperback. Learn more through the website: GamblingAddictionExplained.org
You can also find his book on Amazon, Audible and Spotify.
If you would like to get in touch with John, you can also connect with him through Facebook at Gambling Addiction Explained.
What Support is Available to Help Me or a Loved One Manage the Impact of Gambling Problems?
For Residents of British Columbia:
Gambling Support BC
If you live in British Columbia, you can connect with Gambling Outreach Support anytime. To do so, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. You can also access these services through the Gambling Support Line. It is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to any British Columbia resident experiencing problems from gambling. You don’t need to stop or quit gambling or be self-excluded to access these free supports.
Our counselling and outreach services can help you figure out how to manage gambling concerns, including how to control or stop gambling. You decide what will work for you.
You can talk to an outreach support person about next steps for yourself if you aren’t wanting counselling. They can help you find self-help resources or local community resources and make a plan that meets you where you are at.
Outside of British Columbia
Canada: www.gamblingguidelines.ca/getting-help
United States: National Council on Problem Gambling
United Kingdom: GamCare
Australia: Gamblers’ Help
If you live outside of these countries, search online for “Gambling Help” in your country
Online Support and Meetings:
Gamblers Anonymous and GamAnon
GamTalk (online chat forum)
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.
Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC. We welcome your feedback and ideas for topics for upcoming episodes. Reach out through the Contact Us page on this website or through email at Foldempodcast@gmail.com.