Ep. 91 - The Hidden Toll Of Gambling Addiction on Families
“It took me a long time to figure out that my husband was truly overwhelmed by an addiction that made him not himself anymore.”
Gambling addiction is often seen as an individual problem, but its effects ripple far beyond the person placing the bets. For families, it can lead to financial instability, emotional distress, and fractured relationships. In this episode of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, Katie shares her personal journey of discovering her husband’s gambling problem and the profound ways it changed her family. As her husband experienced relapses and his willingness to get help wavered, she and her kids struggled with his behaviour and mood swings. Katie tells us how taking control of the family finances, setting firms boundaries, and getting support for herself helped her to cope, even as the marriage ultimately ended.
Speaking as a parent and a teacher with twenty years of experience, Katie argues that more recognition is needed about how gambling problems impact families. And, more is needed to support young people with gambling harms. Noting the lack of resources, she talked to Fold em about what worked for her and her daughters. Katie also wrote a workbook so that parents, family members, teachers and counsellors have a tool to help children understand and cope when compulsive gambling disrupts their lives. This workbook is available on Amazon and is called All Bets Are Off: Hope and Healing for Kids When a Loved One’s Gambling Addiction is Destroying Everying.
Listen to episode 91 and hear:
What spouses and family members can do when a loved one isn’t ready to stop gambling
How to support children when a parent’s gambling is negatively impacting the family
What help is available for spouses, family members and children experiencing gambling harms
LISTEN to EPISODE 91
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The Impact of Gambling Addiction on Families
Katie’s husband had been a recreational gambler for years, but things took a turn when they moved to Nevada and gambling became his primary means of coping with stress. What once seemed like an occasional pastime spiralled into a compulsion that led to secrecy, financial loss, and emotional withdrawal. Over time, her husband’s addiction caused a drastic shift in his personality. He became distant, irritable, and, at times, emotionally unavailable.
The hardest part, Katie explains, was watching the effect on their children. The once playful and engaged father became short-tempered and absent. His unpredictable behaviour created an environment of instability for their daughters, who started to feel anxious and developed stomach aches and disrupted eating habits.
Beyond the emotional toll, the financial impact was staggering. It wasn’t until Katie took control of their finances that she discovered the extent of the dammage - large amounts spent in casinos, hidden transactions, and tax documents revealing excessive betting. The revelation forced her to recognize her husband’s gambling addiction, confront him about this, and take steps to protect the family’s financial security.
Katie speaks openly and frankly about the bumpy road for her and her family after her husband’s gambling addiction was revealed. It often takes time for the who gambles to fully accept that gambling is a problem and that, for most, they need help to fully address it. In the meantime, relapses can happen.
Katie found that connecting with Gam-Anon and therapy with a gambling addiction specialist helped. As she learned about compulsive gambling, she was able to share with her children that their Dad is not a bad person, but that his struggle with gambling leads him to behave in ways he wouldn’t normally. Learning about gambling addiction and having compassion for those struggling with it, while also setting boundaries to maintain stability in their lives, has kept Katie and her kids grounded.
How Families Can Cope With Gambling Harms
If your family is dealing with the impact of gambling addiction, you are not alone. Coping with the challenges that come with this addiction requires information, support and practical strategies to rebuild stability. Here are steps you can take to navigate this difficult journey:
Take Control of Finances
Separate your finances from the gambler’s, if possible
Monitor bank accounts and transactions regularly
Consult with debt management specialists
Clarify and Set Boundaries
Get clear on what you are willing to do and not do as well as what behaviours you will and will not tolerate. In a calm moment, share this with the person who gambles
Expect that gambling problems bring chaos and crisis. Prepare for this and get support to help you stick to the limits you have set
Where possible, avoid covering debts or bailing out the gambler, as this often enables continued betting
Talk to Children
Be honest (in age-appropriate ways) about what is happening
Reassure them that the gambler’s behaviour and harms from gambling are not their fault
Encourage open conversations and let them express their feelings
Prioritize Taking Care of Yourself and the Family
Even though finances are tight, where possible allocate money for family needs and treats, e.g. clothing, fun activities
Even when there is stress and tension in the house, find ways to do what helps you to feel better
Get help and guidance for coping with gambling harms (see the list of resources below)
Moving Forward With Hope
While gambling problems can cause immense harm, there is hope for healing and recovery. Katie’s journey led her to create All Bets Are Off: Hope and Healing for Kids When Gambling Addiction is Destroying Everything. This workbook helps children understand and cope with a loved one’s gambling addiction. You can purchase in on Amazon. She also created a podcast with a friend from Gam-Anon. It’s called Making Bets in a Burning House and provides insight and support for families, spouses and friends navigating similar challenges.
You can hear the full interview with Katie on Fold em on episode 91 of Fold em. She speaks in an open, frank and inspiring way about the realities of gambling harm and offers her story and learnings to provide hope and inspiration to all of you. Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red Listen Now to Fold em button at the bottom.
Related Fold em Episodes
An earlier episode of Fold em also focused on how to support young people impacted by a parent’s gambling problem and including them in the recovery process. We hear from Dr. Toula Kourgiantakis who specializes in helping families cope with addiction. Listen now to episode thirty-eight of Fold em by clicking on the play button below.
What Support is Available to Help With Gambling Concerns?
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website or listen to other episodes of Fold em.
Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
We welcome your feedback and ideas for topics for upcoming episodes. Reach out through the Contact Us page on this website or through email at Foldempodcast@gmail.com.
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