Ep. 38 - Supporting Children When a Parent Has a Gambling Problem
The impact of gambling problems ripple through families. Young people may not know that a parent or caregiver is struggling with gambling, but they feel the effects nonetheless.
In episode 38 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, we pay attention to how gambling addiction impacts families, particularly children and teens in the home. We offer guidance on how to support young people in this situation. And, encourage you to think about recovery as a family process - taking care of everyone impacted by a gambling problem and rebuilding the family.
In this episode, you hear from Dr. Toula Kourgiantakis, Assistant Professor at the Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work at the University of Toronto. Toula has over 25-years of experience as a Social Worker specializing in therapy with couples and families impacted by addiction and mental health issues.
Tune in to episode 38 to learn about:
how gambling problems impact family dynamics
signs that gambling problems are affecting kids and teens in the home
why children with a parent who gambles are more at risk of developing a gambling problem
how to support young people impacted by a parent’s gambling
ways of involving family, including children, in counselling and the recovery process
Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of the blog.
If you prefer to tune in directly from Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts, click on the red “Listen and Subscribe” button below.
When a parent has a gambling problem, it impacts young people in the home
Learn how parents, extended family, friends and professionals can offer support
How are Children and Young People Affected By a Parental Gambling Problem?
Dr. Kourgiantakis uses the term “pervasive loss” to explain how children and young people are impacted by a parental gambling problem. The term came from research by Philip Darbyshire and describes the many ways that loss is experienced by young people in this situation.
Gambling problems are typically very stressful for the gambler. This stress affects spouses, family and young people in the home. As a result children and young people may experience losses, including:
Financial: not enough or inconsistent money to cover the basics at home or extras important to a child; witnessing parental stress and conflict about money and debt
Relational: parents can be more withdrawn, distracted and busy as they struggle to cope with the impacts of gambling and, as a result, less available to support their children
Trust and Safety: young people can sense the worry and stress of parents in the home, even if they don’t know the details. This can leave them feeling uncertain and worried
How Can I Support a Child or Young Person Affected by a Parental Gambling Problem?
In episode 38 of Fold em, Toula Kourgiantakis shares that it can be really helpful to offer support to young people as their parent struggles with a gambling problem. She offers a number of ideas about how parents, extended family, friends and counsellors can do this.
What you can do to support a child or young person whose parent has a gambling problem:
Check-in and Offer Reassurance: let the young person know that you are aware there is stress in the family and acknowledge this may be difficult for them. Ask how it is impacting them and what you can do to help. As appropriate for their age, let them know what you and other adults in the home are doing to manage and reduce the stress.
Help Kids to be Kids: as much as possible, try to keep up with typical child/teen-friendly routines and activities and protect them from taking on unexpected adult roles and responsibilities.
Be a Role Model: think about what you want to teach the young people in your life about handling this difficult situation and try to role model this to them, e.g. to not gamble, to keep adult arguments away from their ears, to listen and show empathy or to acknowledge and apologize when stress gets the best of you.
Take Care of Yourself: it’s not easy to do, but the more you can take care of yourself in stressful times, the better able you are to stay present and connected to young people. It doesn’t have to be big things. Maybe just taking a few minutes to catch your breath or finding someone for you to talk to.
Hear more suggestions about how to support young people impacted by a parent’s gambling in episode 38 of Fold em.
Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red “Listen and Subscribe to Fold em” button below.
You can also download a free guidebook for parents written by Toula Kourgiantakis and Sasha Stark called: Problem Gambling a Guide for Parents.
If you would like to hear Judy’s personal story about growing up with a mother who struggled with a gambling problem and how this continues to impact family dynamics now, listen to episode 12 of Fold em. Click on the green play button below.
Check out other episodes of Fold em and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out when new ones are released.
Want to Connect With Support and Counselling in British Columbia?
If you live in British Columbia and would like to learn more about free, confidential support and counselling services from Gambling Support BC, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. You can also access our services through the Gambling Support Line. It is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to residents of British Columbia who are concerned about their own or a loved one’s gambling.
Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors. Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.