Ep. 68 - What it Takes to Stop Gambling: Honesty and Willingness
Georgete recently reached an important milestone - 4 months without gambling. It was particularly important because gambling had been a recurring problem in her life for the past 12 years. She had attended recovery meetings, counselling and even a residential treatment program. These helped to get her a stretch of time away from gambling, even up to a year at one point, but then she’d got pulled back in again. For the past 6 years in particular, she found it really hard to stop and stay stopped.
In episode 68 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, I’m joined by Georgete, who tells us what she’s been doing differently that has helped her to get some time away from gambling. We also hear from Allison Rice, who works as a counsellor with Gambling Support BC and brings 20-years experience with helping people overcome addiction.
This is the first of a four-part series on what it takes to stop gambling and prevent a relapse. Allison joins us for all four episodes and shares what works to prevent a relapse. Each episode also features someone who has lived through gambling problems. They share what has helped them to break free.
Listen to episode 68 and learn about:
The importance of taking an honest look at the impact of gambling - on you, the people in your life, and your finances
Why more is needed than just saying “I’m done” in order to prevent a relapse
What to do when you reach that point of “enough is enough.” (HINT: use it as opportunity to take a risk and do something different, particularly to connect with others who know about gambling issues)
Listen now to episode 68 of Fold em by clicking on the green play button at the top of the blog.
If you prefer to tune in directly from Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts, click on the red “Listen and Subscribe” button below.
When you reach that point of “enough is enough” with gambling, just saying “I’m done” probably won’t be enough to prevent a relapse.
Reach out and get some help.
First Steps When Stopping Gambling: Be Open-Minded and Willing to Get Guidance
Georgete tells us that gambling had taken her to many, many low points. In early 2023, she was in a desperate place because of gambling losses and “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” However, part of her knew that dealing with it “my way” hadn’t worked and she needed to commit to something different. For Georgete, that meant taking her counsellor up on a suggestion to try online groups through Recovery Road Online. She had been sceptical about online recovery meetings after attending Gamblers Anonymous in-person. She gave online meetings a try and made a promise to herself to be open-minded and willing.
Allison Rice, who has worked with many individuals and their families to overcome addiction, tells us in Episode 68 of Fold em, that gambling problems will repeatedly bring people to that place of “enough is enough.” What often follows are promises to yourself and others that “I’m done. I’m stopping.” However, saying “I’m done” typically isn’t enough to break away from problem gambling. That commitment to stop and a willingness to do something different needs to be reinforced over and over and over again. For most people, that means not dealing with it on your own, but being willing to connect with other people who know about this issue AND committing to staying connected.
Allison shares this example: If you fall and badly hurt your arm, you might try to take care of it on your own at first, with a sling, bandages and pain killers. But if those aren’t working, you would get medical help. And, once you saw a doctor, you likely would be willing to try their recommended treatment. For example, to get a cast or a sling and refrain from using your arm until it is healed. Allison tells us that gambling problems require the same approach. If what you have been doing isn’t working, get guidance from someone who knows about the problem and commit to following their suggestions.
Here’s Allison and Georgete’s suggestions for first step when dealing with a gambling problem:
Admit to yourself that what you have been doing hasn’t worked and be willing to try something different
Take it step-by-step with the priority being on connecting with people who know something about gambling problems
Bring an open-mind and focus on listening to what has helped others
Just show up: whatever you do to connect with others, do it regularly and keep at it
First Steps When Stopping Gambling: Take an Honest Look at the Impact of Gambling
After Georgete had been attending online meetings through Recovery Road Online for awhile, she was ready to ask for a sponsor. This involves getting guidance and mentorship from someone who is farther ahead in the recovery process. Georgete continued to be committed to doing things differently and promised herself to be open-minded. One of the first suggestions from her sponsor was that Georgete write our answers to the Twenty Questions of Gamblers’ Anonymous. These questions involve taking an honest look at the impact of gambling on you, your life and others close to you.
This initially brought up some anxiety for Georgete because it wasn’t easy to admit how much dammage gambling had brought not only to her life, but also to others she cared about. As she wrote her “biography of gambling” Georgete also realized how numb she had been while gambling and unable to actually feel how gambling had harmed her. She says she had also been stuck in self-pity and avoided facing the gambling. Writing about gambling helped Georgete to acknowledge the harms of gambling and to accept how out of control it was. This ended up being helpful, because it confirmed to herself that she “really needed help” and fueled her desire to continue attending meetings and engaging in daily practices, such as journalling, writing a gratitude list and prayer.
Georgete also faced the financial impact of gambling. She made a list of her debts and made a plan to pay these off. At the top of her list was paying back friends and family. As she did this she reconnected with them and was honest about the gambling. Both helped to reduce shame and to rebuild her support network.
As you take first steps to stop gambling, here’s suggestions for taking an honest look at your gambling:
Be cautious of only pursuing quick fixes, e.g. telling someone about a gambling problem and promising you won’t gamble again OR paying off a debt, going to one counselling session and then telling yourself, “I’m good.”
Give yourself a good amount of time away from gambling and use it to reflect upon how gambling has impacted you, yourself and others. Write and/or talk about it. Ask family and spouses to tell you how it has impacted them.
Learn about how gambling has negatively impacted others, e.g. through a chat forum, podcast or in a group. This will help you to see it in yourself.
Walk the line between facing gambling harms and not getting swamped in shame. The point is to help you overcome numbness and avoidance so you’re fueling your motivation to keep addressing the problem. If you’re too stuck in shame and regret, get help from a counsellor or someone who has been through it.
To hear more from Georgete and Allison about what works when you want to stop gambling and stay stopped, listen to episode 68 of Fold em. Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red Listen Now to Fold em button at the bottom.
What Support is Available to Help With Gambling Concerns?
Gambling Support BC
If you live in British Columbia, you can connect with Gambling Outreach Support anytime. To do so, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. You can also access these services through the Gambling Support Line. It is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to any British Columbia resident experiencing problems from gambling, including spouses and family impacted by a loved one’s gambling. For those who gamble, you don’t need to stop or quit gambling or be self-excluded to access these free supports.
Our counselling and outreach services can help you figure out how to manage gambling concerns, including how to control or stop gambling. You decide what will work for you.
You can talk to an outreach support person about next steps for yourself if you aren’t wanting counselling. They can help you find self-help resources or local community resources and make a plan that meets you where you are at.
If You Have Concerns About Your Own Gambling - Help Outside of British Columbia
Canada: www.gamblingguidelines.ca/getting-help
United States: National Council on Problem Gambling
United Kingdom: GamCare
Australia: Gamblers’ Help
If you live outside of these countries, search online for “Gambling Help” in your country
Online Support and Meetings:
GamTalk (online chat forum)
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.
Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
We welcome your feedback and ideas for topics for upcoming episodes. Reach out through the Contact Us page on this website or through email at Foldempodcast@gmail.com.