Ep. 51 - Getting Your Spark Back as you Face Gambling Problems
As people face gambling problems, it’s common to feel low, stressed and anxious. You may feel relief from opening up about this issue but find that feelings of shame and guilt are hard to shake. As you return to activities that used to be enjoyable, or do things to help yourself feel better, you continue to feel flat.
In episode 51 of our podcast, Fold em: Help for Gambling Problems, our brain experts help us make sense of this. Deirdre Querney, MSW and Dr. Iris Balodis from Brain Connections explain:
why gambling problems pull down your mood
what you can do to feel better (maybe even feeling better than before you started gambling)
how spouses and family members can help a loved one who is struggling with depression, anxiety and/or suicidal thoughts
where to turn for 24/7 help for gambling problems, depression and/or suicidal thoughts
Listen now to episode 51 of Fold em by clicking on the green play button at the top of the blog.
If you prefer to tune in directly from Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts, click on the red “Listen and Subscribe” button below.
As gambling problems increase, your mood typically declines. For some, this can lead to depression.
When you pull back from gambling and bring in more healthy rewards, you can definitely get your spark back.
What Do We Know About How Gambling Problems Impact Your Mood?
First of all, what do we mean when we talk about mood? How is mood different from emotions?
In this episode of Fold em, Dr. Iris Balodis, tells us that mood is our underlying affect or state of mind. We all have a natural mood setpoint - your typical mood state - although this varies somewhat throughout the day. For example, someone might say, “I’m generally a pretty upbeat person.” Our emotions, on the other hand, are more in-the-moment responses and short-term. Iris illustrates this by saying that our mood is like the ocean (relatively constant) and our emotions are the waves (which change depending on the weather and tide)
Dr. Balodis and her colleague, Deirdre Querney, tell us that gambling problems have a BIG impact on your brain and mood. Here’s some of their key points:
At first, people usually describe gambling as fun and exciting. Their mood setpoint goes up temporarily and then returns to normal levels
When gambling problems emerge, there is a slow and steady decline in mood. Although gambling initially was fun and exciting, over time gambling may only bring mild happiness and then despair. Your natural mood setpoint gets lower and lower so that you no longer return to your previous “normal” mood.
With gambling problems, there is a longing for things to be as they were in early gambling days, e.g. fun, exciting or maybe even just feeling “normal.” This often prompts more gambling as a solution to get back to feeling better.
Our mood setpoint lowers when under stress. Facing gambling problems is often very stressful. This is partly why your mood stays low even as you pull back from gambling. Or, your mood may drop even lower into depression.
When your mood setpoint lowers, activities you usually enjoy don’t feel fun, enjoyable or exciting. This is why it might seem unbearable to think of pulling back from gambling.
Why it’s Important to Pay Attention to a Low Mood as You Address Gambling Issues
Deirdre Querney is a counsellor who has helped people with gambling and other addictive behaviours for 22 years. In this episode, she says that it’s really important for those struggling with gambling and their family members to take care of their mood. Here’s why:
A Low Mood Can Create Risk for a Relapse
As people are trying to feel something other than low, flat and stressed, their brain will remember the early days when gambling was fun or exciting and convince you that gambling to feel better is a good option.
A Low Mood Is Connected With Dropping Out of Counselling or Giving Up On Your Goals
It can be really hard to stick with getting help, addressing problems and pulling away from gambling habits when you are not seeing immediate benefits and your mood is not improving quickly. Things will get better, but often you need to stick with it.
Risk for Suicide is High in People With Gambling Addiction
Research shows that problem gamblers are more likely than the general population to have thoughts of suicide and attempt suicide or self harm. It’s so important to be aware of that risk and get people connected to help and support. Options for crisis support are below.
What Will Help to Lift Your Mood While Facing Gambling Problems?
Deirdre and Iris both emphasize that your mood setpoint will naturally rise again after you pull back from problem gambling. Looking at the research on substance addiction, Iris tells us that within 3-4 months, your brain will once again light up in response to those activities and situations that used to give you a positive boost. Often this comes sooner as people experience relief from opening up about gambling issues, getting back in the flow of “normal” life, and finding solutions to financial problems.
In the meantime, here’s four suggestions from Deirdre Querney and Dr. Iris Balodis on how to cope with a low mood and start to lift your mood setpoint:
Have Patience and Compassion for Yourself
Your mood won’t change overnight, but it will improve as you pull back from gambling. Remind yourself that a low mood can be expected with gambling problems and it won’t last forever.
It’s also typical to not feel the same level of enjoyment as you bring back non-gambling activities. In time, this will happen, particularly if you continue giving yourself healthy rewards (see below).
2. Make Time for Healthy Rewards
Keep doing those healthy things that used to boost your mood OR that you know help others to feel better - even if you don’t see immediate results.
Healthy rewards includd: spending time with supportive people (and pets), being active (especially if it is in nature), and activities that you find enjoyable, e.g. hobbies or nice meals. If you can’t think of ideas, do an online search for “healthy rewards.”
3. Take Care of Your Health
Work on getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods regularly, being active, and addressing any health issues. Take small steps.
Visit a doctor to make sure that a low mood isn’t connected to a physical health problem.
4. Get Help if You Are Struggling with Depression, Anxiety and/or Suicidal Thoughts
When suicidal thoughts are showing up and you are struggling with depression and anxiety, it is really important to lean on others. This could be talking to your doctor about medication to help life your mood; getting connected to counselling and mental health services; and turning to crisis supports. A list of these services is below.
Crisis Supports That You Can Access 24/7
Here’s options for 24/7 phone and text crisis and mental health supports.
In Canada:
Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566
In the United States:
Outside of North America:
Search online for crisis supports in your country
Want to Learn More?
If you would like to hear more from Deirdre and Iris about how to get your spark back as you face gambling problems, listen to episode 51 of Fold em.
Listen now by clicking on the green play button at the top of this blog or the red “Listen and Subscribe to Fold em” button below.
Check out other episodes of Fold em and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out when new ones are released.
Want to Connect With Support and Counselling in British Columbia?
If you live in British Columbia and would like to learn more about free, confidential support and counselling services from Gambling Support BC, click on the red “Connect with Support in BC” button below. Or, go to the Gambling Support BC website. You can also access our services through the Gambling Support Line. It is available 24/7 at 1-888-795-6111.
Gambling Support BC services are available to any British Columbia resident experiencing problems from gambling. You don’t need to stop or quit gambling or be self-excluded to access these free supports.
Our counselling and outreach services can help you figure out how to manage gambling concerns, including how to control or stop gambling. You decide what will work for you.
You can talk to an outreach support person about next steps for yourself if you aren’t wanting counselling. They can help you find self-help resources or local community resources and make a plan that meets you where you are at.
Want to Connect With Support and Counselling in the Rest of Canada and the United States?
For a list of gambling help services in Canada, visit www.gamblingguidelines.ca/getting-help
To find gambling help resources in the United States, visit the National Council on Problem Gambling
Fold em is a podcast hosted by Adrienne Cossom and her colleagues at Gambling Support BC. Whether you are looking at stopping or scaling back your own gambling or supporting a family member with a problem, this podcast will help you take back control. Hear from gamblers who have been through it and get tips from counsellors. Fold em is funded by Gambling Support BC.
To learn more about gambling concerns and how to access resources and support, go to the home page of this website, click on the red “Learn More” button below, or connect with us through Facebook.